Guys, I Think This Cursed Nintendo Game Might Be Cursed!

Recently I’ve fallen into a bit of a YouTube rabbit hole of creepypastas. All of the stories are fake — most of them egregiously so — but it’s still fun to get caught up on a whole section of the Internet I didn’t know existed.

That said, it also reminded me of something that happened a couple of weeks ago. You guys aren’t going to believe this but I swear it’s all true. Let me set the scene:

Recently, my wife went on a week-long camping trip with her sister and some friends. Being sort of a homebody and having our dog to take care of, I decided I’d stay home and enjoy the so-called bachelor life for a week. I love my wife more than anything, but seven days of being able to eat, watch, and do whatever I wanted?

Sign me up.

I dropped her off at the airport and made my way back home while contemplating what to do with my glorious freedom. As I started my car back up, Spotify played an ad that said my full name and address before adding something about “the time is nigh.” ‘Damn,’ I thought. ‘So much for “ad-free premium” service. And these targeted ads are getting REALLY specific.’ Oh well. That’s the price of being online in 2026. I ignored it and kept daydreaming.

If you’re expecting something salacious or wild, I have bad news: I’m still a homebody at heart. Instead of drunken parties or blasting super loud music, I decided I’d do what I used to do in college: get some dessert and play video games alllllllllll day. I stopped at Safeway for ice cream, cookies, and a box of chocolate Bunny Grahams (my guilty pleasure). What’s weird is that I seemed to be the only one in the store. I didn’t see anyone else — not even a cashier — the entire time. I guess that can happen when it’s just a quick in-and-out trip though. I went through self-checkout and headed home.

Once I arrived, I was finally ready. I fired up the PS5 and started with some Gran Turismo 7 before switching to NHL 26. It was beautiful. The only times I got interrupted were when my dog needed to go out to pee and when a blood-red raven crashed into my window and died. Otherwise, it was all gaming, all day. Chilling on the couch with a controller in one hand and some Bunny Grahams in the other is what I call perfection.

That’s when things started to get weird.

As the sun started to set I wanted some real food so I decided to get a pizza. Like I always say: Why go big or go home when you can go big AND go home? I was getting ready to open an app when “Jinn is picking up your order” popped up on my phone. Pizza without even placing an order? Yes, please! Estimated wait time: 66 minutes. Perfect! That’s enough time to get in on some Slay the Spire 2 early access. I went upstairs to look for my Steam Deck. One thing I always forget until my wife leaves town is how much noise our house makes. It almost sounded like a bunch of Gregorian chanting that got louder as I climbed. Old pipes, man. Home ownership is wild.

I grabbed my Steam Deck and started to make my way back downstairs when the power unexpectedly went out. ‘Weird,’ I thought. The streetlights outside were working but my house was pitch black. Well, almost: There was a glowing red light and a trail of smoke that beckoned me onward. It seemed like it was coming from my bedroom. Did my house have some sort of backup generator installed? No one disclosed that during the buying process, but hey, I’m not complaining.

I followed the smoke down the hallway and into my room. Instead of pitch black, it was almost too bright, especially near the closet. As I reached for the closet door, the red lights suddenly went out too. There was a loud pop — like a transformer blew somewhere nearby — and what sounded like a demonic howl. In a split second, the power was completely restored to my house and the closet door was open. At my feet lay a red GameBoy Advance. I didn’t even remember I had one of these! I set my Steam Deck down nearby and picked up the GameBoy.

‘I wonder if it still works?’ I mused. It was freezing cold to the touch but a quick visual inspection revealed that it was in pristine condition despite being in that dusty closet for God knows how long. Even better, it turned on without issue. The familiar start-up sound immediately transported me back to my childhood; I smiled and sighed wistfully for those bygone days. I didn’t even bother to check what game was in there before I thought to myself ‘Slay the Spire can wait. I’m gonna play Nintendo instead.’

That’s when things started to get weird.

After a quick loading time I was at the title screen of a game I didn’t remember: Metroid Dark Matter. I loved Metroid Fusion as a kid, so maybe I picked this up and just never played it? Oh well — I could easily make up for lost time now. I plopped down on my bed and took in the title screen. There was Samus in her familiar-looking red suit juxtaposed against an all-black background. The music was eerie and ominous, which was a cool way to set the tone. Let’s play.

Even though I don’t remember getting this game, there was one save file and two empty slots. The pre-existing one was named “D. EVIL” — a classic Austin Powers reference, nice. It was 100 percent complete with a total playtime of 6:66:66. I guess no one thought to do the rounding math. All good, though: I wanted to start fresh. I picked Save Slot 2, entered my name, and we were off.

The game opened with a bunch of runic symbols flashing on and off in complete silence. Then it cut to Samus, standing front and center on the screen, on a planet called “Tartarus VI.” Just like that, I was in control. I ran around taking stock of my abilities; I had missiles from the start, which was new, but otherwise it was pretty standard running and jumping stuff. I ran to the right and encountered my first enemy, a small beetle. I shot it and it exploded into a massive cloud of blood and innards. Weirdly violent for a Metroid game, but the graphics were amazing.

Things were mostly normal until I found my first missile door. I shot it and the door seemed to shriek in pain when it was hit. I walked through and the screen glitched out for a few seconds. All I got was static that got louder as the seconds passed. Just when it was about to become unbearable, it fixed itself and a cinema sequence played with a hyper-realistic Samus and longtime Metroid staple Ridley. Samus removed her helmet and there was a look of pure rage on her face. No, not rage — more like an unquenchable lust for violence. Her eyes seemed to be bleeding as she stared at Ridley, who screamed out antagonistically back at her. Samus fired missiles and charged shots while running toward him, but when she got close she plunged her hand into his chest and ripped out his heart. Ridley’s face seemed to beg for mercy but Samus wasn’t in the mood: she took a bite of his heart, shoved it in Ridley’s mouth, pressed her arm cannon up against the heart and fired a missile straight into him. He wailed in pure agony while clouds of blood mist and bone shard exploded all over Samus, who just walked away silently.

Just as she was about to leave the room, she stopped and turned directly toward the camera — like she was looking right into my eyes. Her face had gone completely white and she simply spoke “You’re next.”

That’s when things started to get weird.

Suddenly, the GameBoy turned itself off and flew out of my hands. It was now boiling hot to the touch, so I grabbed it with a thick blanket and tried to turn it back on. No luck. I switched it off and on a few times but to no avail. As I was looking at the battery compartment, the doorbell rang. Right, the pizza! I forgot all about it. I raced downstairs and opened my door, expecting to see a delivery person. But there was no one there. I checked my phone and it said “The ritual may begin.” Not what I remember GrubHub writing when food arrived, but I was too hungry to care. I looked down at my feet and there it was: not a pizza, but a small, mahogany box inscribed with the same sigils I saw during the opening part of Metroid.

I took the box inside to open it and inside was a Samus figurine. It looked just like the evil one from the cinema I’d just watched, right down to what felt like real blood splatter rubbed on the outside. Okay, I definitely didn’t order this, but maybe my wife did and it’s an early birthday present. Crazy that she knew what this was! I set it on the kitchen counter and decided I’d just go to bed. I must’ve been asleep only an hour or so before my dog woke me up by barking and growling, which is very out of character for him. I asked him what was up and there it was, right next to me in bed:

A bloody Samus figurine, with eyes that seemed to be glowing. I held it close to my face and heard it whisper, softly but loud enough for me to hear:

“The ritual is complete.”

When I woke up in the morning, both the figurine and the GameBoy were gone and there was a bloody sigil painted on my wall. There were also the words “Never Forget.” My stomach plunged as a terrifying reality set in: I never did get that pizza.