Now That Sora is Shuttered, All My Best Ideas Are Useless
How Am I Supposed to Produce Content? With My OWN Brain? Like a Poor Person?!
Listen, everyone, I have terrible news. You’re gonna want to sit down for this. If you’re already sitting, you’re gonna want to stand up and sit down again, but with some gravitas this time. None of that casual flopping down onto a couch bullshit. This is serious.
OpenAI just shuttered Sora, their AI video generator, meaning the billion-dollar deal with Disney that would have allowed us to generate videos with 200+ Disney characters is nixed too.
Is there no justice in this world?!
Look, normally I’m not a violent person. But Sam Altman closing down Sora is a fireable offense to me — literally. As in he deserves to be set on fire. Or fired into the sun. I would just ask Sora to make that happen via generated video but I can’t even do that anymore, nevermind inviting Donald Duck along!
This is on you, Altman. And just to prove how much you single-handedly fucked this up, here’s just a taste of the AI slop I was gonna create but that you’ve denied the world. Maybe now you’ll realize the error of your ways.
- Darkwing Duck puts on Doctor Strange’s cloak thinking it’s his own but realizes it’s sentient — and lost. They have to go on a wacky adventure to find Doctor Strange.
- A psychological thriller where Buzz Lightyear becomes convinced he’s actually a Mandalorian and tries to kill the “clone” version.
- “Hyuck Finn,” a spiritual sequel to “An Extremely Goofy Movie” based on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Goofy and Max play the title roles.
- Infamous Donald Trump moments and quotes but with Tigger as Trump.
- CSI: Wakanda.
- An odd couple/buddy cop comedy featuring Mickey Mouse and Black Cat with some OFF THE CHARTS sexual tension called “Cat & Mouse.”
- Aladdin trying the same scheme he ran from the first movie — still with the help of an AI-replicated Robin Williams Genie — but this time to woo Princess Leia.
- A fairy tale accurate version of “Sleeping Beauty” also starring Tilly Norwood.
- Loki and Maui meet in a bar and get to talking about how burnt out they are and how hard their lives are before agreeing to shapeshift into one another and trade places before ultimately realizing that the grass isn’t always greener. Also, Baby Yoda is there just ‘cause.
- 94,000 hours of Rule 34 content.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! You’ve ruined all my great money-making ideas, Altman! I’ll never forgive you for this.
