Let's Create a New Micronation

The United States. Pretty terrible right now, huh? I don’t even need (or want) to enumerate the reasons — I’m sure the most relevant dozen or so popped into your head already. The Doomsday Clock is 85 seconds from midnight. If I bleakly suggested you grab some popcorn and simply wait for the end, you wouldn’t even have enough time to microwave it.

It’s bad out there.

If your thoughts have more frequently turned to escapism of late, you aren’t alone. Mine certainly have. Not in the “let’s binge [drink/eat/watch something]” way, although no shame if that’s your thing. A few gallons of ice cream and a couple seasons of Community got me through the first stages of the pandemic, after all. But I’ve been thinking in a bit more abstract terms: I want to escape society and divorce myself from U.S. culture. The “easy” answer would be to emigrate elsewhere, but that’s time-consuming and expensive and I’m not convinced the world is jazzed on welcoming Americans at the moment.

But what if I could separate myself from within? What if I could stand beneath the banner of a newer, more progressive place without having to move anywhere at all?

What’s stopping me from starting my own a micronation?

Turns out: nothing. So that’s what I’m doing.

Today, I officially declare The Socialist Synarchism of Saint Germain as a free and independent micronation within our property lines in the US. Let’s celebrate the customary Saint Germain way: With a subdued fist pump and a quiet “woo” to ourselves.

(Woo.)

Synarchism, if you’re as unfamiliar as I was until 10 minutes ago, is effectively just rule by a secret elite. How does that play with Socialism as a concept? It doesn’t — at scale. But when you’re a nascent little baby micronation like SG, it totally works! The elite rulers — myself, my wife, and our terrier mix — work in the shadows and we control the means of production. We control all decision making and national policy from our clandestine capital headquarters but everyone here is treated and cared for equally.

Our flag is up above at the start of the post. Pretty cool, right? Let’s walk through the symbolism:

• The flag’s design is two solid rectangles of blue and orange. For the purposes of official Saint Germain business, we’ve branded them Ninja Blue and Subtle Orange. (Our branding department is terrible with adjectives.) The Ninja Blue signifies our micronation’s reliance on and commitment to the local ecosystem, particularly in terms of the rain and our local rivers, streams, and ocean. The Subtle Orange is emblematic of our vibrant culture and the brightness with which we seek to keep in our hearts and minds as we progress through life.
  
  Together, the two represent the concept of cohesion via contrast. They’re opposites on the color wheel (just ask, uh, any movie poster) but they complete each other. Light and dark. Yin and yang. Milkshake and French Fries (trust me on this).
• The rectangles are divided by a thin white line with a small white circle in the middle; inside that circle is a fainter cream-colored circle. The former represents a neutral meeting point where both colored elements come together; the latter, the visible but subtle influence of the elites at the center of it all.

As for our governing document, a constitution is forthcoming. For now, though, we have a convenient little set of enumerated values. Who says my time in Corporate America has been a waste??

1. Empathy. Far from a weakness, we in Saint Germain view empathy as the cornerstone of existence. If we can’t have empathy for others — human, animal, and planet alike — then humankind is doomed anyway.
2. Creativity. There’s a reason I’m writing this instead of focusing on my day job right now. Creativity is really about self-expression, and self-expression gives meaning to our lives at a fundamental level. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. In the words of honorary citizen Sheryl Crow: If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad. (Your SG visa is in the mail, Sheryl!)
3. Moderation. Not in terms of, like, temperance — we have no official position there. More in terms of curbing excess consumption, finding common ground with others, and not being afraid of small, steady improvements. The semi-famous Boy Scout Rule is that you should always leave a place cleaner than it was when you found it. I think theirs applies to campgrounds specifically, but ours applies to everything. One percent improvement may not be 10 percent, but it’s not zero.
4. Curiosity. Whether exploring the world around me or looking inward while working out my issues in therapy, curiosity has been the cornerstone of all my discovery and all my progress. Allowing ourselves to get curious allows us to see things non-judgmentally, which in turn lets us explore them more safely and freely. Keeping a sense of curiosity allows us to keep growing.

There’s probably more to be added at some point but hey, that’s what rebrands amendments are for. A few other quick details:

• Our national animal is the sea otter. I mean, they’re just adorable.
• Our national plant is the elderflower. Feels like it has to be, right?
• Our demonym is really up to you: The officially endorsed term I just came up with is “Saint Germainers” but honestly? As long as the name Saint Germain is in there somewhere, we’ll recognize anything.

There you have it: Our official declaration of micronational independence, observed on this, March 3rd, 2026. It feels so good to be free! Please feel free to visit, too — our tourism board would love that.